You Before Me (Part 2): The Key to Enduring Relationships

If you had read through part one, you'd know I'm a bit of a sales novice. I started working with State Farm doing insurance sales just eleven months ago, but despite that, the number of lessons I've taken away from my time in sales is astronomical.

And I'm not just talking about learning the insurance business; I'm talking about learning people, and learning myself. Among the most prevalent of the lessons I've learned is how important (and effective) it is to think more about the person in front of me than myself. Not only is it easier to close sales and provide great customer service when I'm focused on the other person, but it also makes for better relationships and a better life.

People love talking about themselves. We all do it, and we're all used to it. And there's nothing inherently wrong about that; there's a certain satisfaction in getting sympathy from another person after sharing about your rough day, or excitement from someone after telling them about your positive life change. But in sales, me talking about my day or what I did the weekend prior doesn't do me a lot of good (unless I'm relating it to something they just said). Getting others to talk is far more important - that's what enables them to self-disclose, to trust you, and to build a connection with you. I need to be able to ask questions about them and remember conversations we had before (a.k.a., show a genuine investment in their lives) before they're willing to hear what I have to say.

And this isn't just the best way to do business and close sales, it's the best way to live.

I think back to some of the most infectious and respected people I've ever met, and the one thing they have in common is that they put others first. They were better at listening and asking questions than they were at expressing their own thoughts. Sometimes I'd be shocked at the things they remembered, from the conversation we had weeks prior right down to the people's names in my life.

That kind of investment, the ability to make other people feel heard and valued, is something that speaks louder than words ever could. And it fortifies relationships - personal and professional - in a way nothing else can.